The Guy Code
There are rules among men that nobody ever writes down, but everyone seems to understand. Veterans, bikers, and blue-collar guys have a habit of testing each other with sarcasm, insults, and relentless ribbing. As a transgender veteran, I don't always know which set of social rules I'm about to be judged by. Last weekend reminded me that sometimes the hardest part isn't surviving the test, it's explaining to the people you love why the test existed in the first place.
Compliance Is Not Care
I went into my medical records looking for information. I came out pissed off. At the top of every UNM Health record it says my name, my birthdate, and then, predictably, male. No way to fix it. No place to correct it. Meanwhile, the Catholic hospital somehow got it right. This is a story about that moment, and about the systems that insist on explaining themselves instead of listening.
We’re Just Trying To Pee
America has a problem. A big problem. A huge — pronounced YOU-dge — problem. Politicians spin it, pundits sensationalize it, and suddenly transgender people needing to pee is treated like the nation’s biggest crisis. I’m not an activist. I’m not out here waving signs on the street. I’m just trying to live my life. But when the laws, the headlines, and the mobs all turn something as basic as a bathroom into a battleground, it’s time to pick up the pen — because we’re simply trying to pee.