Leadership Has Left The Building

I’m increasingly struck by the dominance of fragile egos in the workplace.

Not just annoyed by it. Not just frustrated by it. Honestly? I’m fucking baffled by it.

Now, I’ve seen this my entire career. But for most of that career, I occupied contributor roles. I was the doer. The fixer. The ass-kicker. The one dragging projects across the finish line while everyone else formed committees to discuss the possibility of eventually scheduling another meeting.

So from those lower rungs on the ladder, I could only see so far up the organizational tree.

I saw inflated egos in senior technical staff. I saw middle managers intoxicated by tiny amounts of authority. I saw bureaucratic nonsense everywhere.

And yeah, it frustrated the shit out of me. But I could rationalize it.

I told myself: “Well, of course the first layer of management is chaotic. That’s where weak people go to cosplay leadership.”

And meanwhile I viewed myself as the steady buoy in the middle of the storm. The calm one. The reliable one. The person who would eventually help drag everyone safely back toward shore.

Then something unexpected happened. After almost twenty-five fucking years of bleeding for this institution, I finally cracked through the first layer of glass. Apparently if you smash your forehead against the ceiling long enough, eventually the institution gets tired of cleaning up the blood and promotes you. So now I sit one rung higher on the ladder.

And guess what? The view got worse.

Way worse.

The egos are even bigger up here.

Bloated.
Fragile.
Desperate.
Performative.

And the further up the org chart I look, the less actual leadership I see.

Managers everywhere. Leaders nowhere.

I don’t see humble servants. I don’t see mission-first thinking. I don’t see people setting ego aside for the institution, the team, or some larger purpose.

I see oversized toddlers pounding Tonka trucks into the sandbox while barking contradictory orders at exhausted adults.

Nobody seems grounded anymore.

Nobody seems willing to say:

“I might be wrong.”
“What does the team need?”
“What serves the mission best?”
“How do we protect the people doing the actual work?”

Instead it’s all:

• optics

• territory

• ego preservation

• ladder climbing

• self-protection

• political positioning

And honestly? It’s making me not want to play anymore. Because I look around and I don’t see people I’d willingly follow into difficult situations.

I see managers. Not leaders.

Leadership requires humility. Leadership requires accountability. Leadership requires emotional control. Leadership requires putting your people ahead of your own ego.

And most importantly: leadership requires sacrifice.

That’s the missing ingredient.

Too many people want authority without burden. Influence without responsibility. Recognition without risk.

And maybe that’s a broader societal problem now. Maybe things have been comfortable for too long. Maybe we’ve created entire generations of professionally polished people who have never actually had to carry anyone through real adversity.

Because from where I’m sitting? It looks like chaos.

Managers protecting themselves. Departments protecting themselves. Everyone fighting over resources and visibility while pretending it’s strategic leadership.

Meanwhile the actual workers are down below quietly holding the institution together with duct tape, caffeine, and untreated stress disorders.

And after twenty-five years? I’ve reached a pretty uncomfortable realization: I’m not following any of these motherfuckers.

Not into battle.
Not into crisis.
Not into uncertainty.

At this point? I’m following a paycheck. Because somewhere along the way, leadership left the building.