Deathbed Regrets Can’t Be Fucking Fixed
Missing the woman I love has me questioning something far bigger than a few lonely nights. Have I spent so much time chasing professional success and taking care of responsibilities that I've forgotten to cherish the moments right in front of me? I've died three fucking times, and if there's one thing I've learned, it's that time isn't guaranteed. Deathbed regrets can't be fucking fixed, and I refuse to waste the life I've been given.
Luckily, I’m Not in Jail
All I wanted to do was get my wife's Dodge Challenger registered so she could leave on her road trip. Instead, I spent forty-five fucking minutes waiting for a bureaucrat to tell me one missing signature made the impossible impossible, drove across town to another MVD office that somehow figured it out, and then nearly got into a roadside fight with some douchebag in a white SUV who was riding my wife's ass. By the end of the day, Dawna was safely on the road, the car was legal, and I wasn't in handcuffs. I'm calling that a fucking win.
You Can Take Us Out of the Military …
Three former military people show up fifteen minutes early to a meeting, immediately look for seats facing the door, and somehow end up comparing photographs of horrific motorcycle injuries. And none of us thinks there's anything particularly unusual about it. Military service leaves its mark long after you take off the uniform. It shapes how you communicate, how you approach responsibility, and how you understand accountability. We show up early, we tell the fucking truth, and we don't waste time dressing things up in pretty language.
Played Like a Fucking Fiddle
After twelve-hour workdays, all I want is to spend time with Dawna. Unfortunately, she's trying to squeeze two households into one, and apparently my constant presence isn't particularly conducive to concentration. So she came up with a brilliant solution: send my annoying ass on errands. One light bulb, a pack of cigarettes, several hours riding Nyx and Aurora, and an overcooked swordfish dinner later, I discovered on Facebook that my future wife had played me like a fucking fiddle. And you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way.
One Fucking Year
One year ago, an evening motorcycle ride left me broken on Cerrillos Road. Broken bones, surgeries, months of rehabilitation, and nights spent crying when nobody was watching. But somewhere in the hardest fucking year of my life, I found love, purpose, and something I hadn't truly possessed before: a sense of my own worth. I'm not grateful for the accident. I'm grateful I survived it.
The Fucking Cage
A car gets you from one place to another. A motorcycle puts you inside every fucking mile between them. The temperature, the wind, the smells, the landscape. You don't pass through the world. You enter it. Unfortunately, sometimes love and logistics mean climbing into the fucking cage anyway.
Get the Fuck Out of the Left Lane
The left lane isn't the “I'm going 68 in a 65, so I deserve to be here” lane. It isn't even the fucking speeding lane. It's the passing lane. Pass somebody, move the fuck over, and stop turning an incredibly simple traffic pattern into a clusterfuck for everyone behind you.
Apparently My Fucking Motorcycle Owes Albuquerque Money
Albuquerque says speeding is dangerous enough to justify automated enforcement, but apparently not dangerous enough to actually stop the fucking vehicle. Instead, a camera takes a picture, you keep driving, and weeks later the registered owner gets a bill. Ignore it long enough and eventually a debt collector comes looking for the money. Sorry, but I don’t fucking buy the safety argument.
I Earned That Fucking Picture
Someone at work told me the picture I submitted was too unprofessional and suggested I replace it with one that’s a fucking decade old. Nope. I don’t look like that woman anymore. I’ve aged, changed, died, survived, learned, led, and earned every fucking stripe on my shoulder. The woman in this picture is the woman you asked for.
What the Fuck Happened?
A brutal three-hundred-mile motorcycle ride across southeastern New Mexico somehow turned into Texas liquor laws, government-mandated technology, individual liberty, and my general irritation with being protected from myself. I’m not entirely sure how the fuck we got here either.
Someone in My Corner
I thought this week’s lesson was going to be about surviving a new leadership role, monsoon commutes, and a shitty rear tire. Instead, I walked into the garage and found a clean motorcycle—and another reminder that I don’t have to do this fucking life alone anymore.