So Fucking Close
After years of recovery, reflection, and writing, my memoir And So, She Rose is finally approaching the finish line. And along the way I’ve discovered just how much work, and how many incredible people, it takes to turn words into a real book.
The Moment the Anger Leaves
There’s a strange moment after betrayal when the anger finally disappears. It’s the moment you realize the person who once held your heart no longer holds your gravity.
Defiance
Some betrayals can’t be spoken aloud. Not because they don’t matter, but because telling the full truth would burn more lives than it would heal. Tonight isn’t about revenge. Tonight is about defiance, integrity, and the quiet strength it takes to walk away while still protecting someone who never protected you.
A Night for Broken Hearts
Sometimes the deepest heartbreaks are the ones you can’t explain. The ones you have to carry quietly, because telling the truth would destroy someone else’s life. So you sit with the pain, question everything you thought you understood about love, and ask God why the tests never seem to end.
I Assure You, I Know I Have an Appointment
I survived three cardiac arrests. My life revolves around follow-ups, imaging, and cardiology check-ins. I promise you, I’m aware of my appointment. So why does the medical system feel the need to remind me eight times in forty-eight hours?
Stop Calling It An Accident
We use the word “accident” like an emotional airbag. It cushions the blow, softens accountability, and blurs the line between negligence and chance. But most of what we label accidental is entirely predictable, and preventable.
Memento Mori, Memento Vivere
I died three times in 2022. When I came back, I stopped fearing Death and started honoring it. The Reaper isn’t my enemy, he’s my reminder to live urgently, honestly, and without apology.
The Long Way Around Ego
I lost my temper at a Harley service counter over a warranty repair. I wasn’t wrong to be frustrated, but I didn’t love who I was in that moment. Sometimes humility takes the long way around, but it usually gets there.
The Chosen
There’s a difference between faith and performance. Between humility and ego dressed up as revelation. I’ve stood close to death, and what I experienced wasn’t loud.
The Lonely Things I Choose
I get lonely sometimes. But I’ve also gotten ruthless about who gets access to me. When you build a life around riding, writing, and leading, you don’t have room for everyone, and that’s both the problem and the point.
The Legal Gladiator Lie
Hollywood sold us a fantasy: lawyers as warriors, justice as inevitable. What I learned after my motorcycle crash is that personal injury law isn’t a battlefield. It’s a ballroom, and the dance is already choreographed.
I Am Not Reckless. I Am Deliberate.
There’s a difference between recklessness and deliberation. What people see is the decision. What they don’t see is the relentless internal trial that led to it.
What the Hell Happened to Driving?
Traffic up to Los Alamos isn’t bad because there are more people. It’s bad because two or three drivers at the front of the pack have collectively decided that fifteen miles under the speed limit is a personality trait. And somewhere between horsepower and hesitation, we lost something.
You’re Fucking Welcome
Pride wasn’t born out of comfort. It was born out of survival. This is about Michael. About blood. About hiding. About violence. About what it actually cost to make today safer. And about the complicated gratitude that comes with inheriting freedom.
We Create the Problems
Human existence sometimes feels like an endless loop: we build systems, then build more systems to fix the systems we built. Meanwhile, the machine hums, and we call it progress.
Free Enough to Complain
I rode all day in freezing sun, hands numb, coffee in my veins, donuts as fuel. And downtown? Protestors. Two years later, still marching like the sky fell. Here’s what I actually saw: a free country loud enough to complain inside it.
What Would You Say?
If I ever sat across from the woman who hit me, what would I say? I’m not sure I’d say anything at all. I think I’d just hand her the story and let her decide who she wants to be next.
Goddamned Appointments
I survived the crash. I survived the hospital. Now I’m just trying to survive the goddamned appointments long enough to get back to being me.
Coverage Limits
There’s something uniquely brutal about watching your trauma converted into arithmetic. Brain bleed. Collapsed lung. Facial reconstruction. Months of recovery. And at the end of it all? Coverage limits. It isn’t justice. It’s math.